Just a quick one today, even though it’s technically two recipes. I love when this happens. Today is My Ivy Chopped Salad (which begs the question: as the only recipe specifically beginning with “my,” are all the other recipes not hers? Then why does this cookbook even exist?) and Balsamic & Lime Vinaigrette. Continue reading
Ivy Chopped Salad; Or, Holy F*$%
Filed under Salads
Celebrating New York with Mediocrity
Last night there was a lot to celebrate: my friend Lisa is in town from Wisconsin, and oh also by the way I’m moving to New York in like two weeks to go work in an ad agency (and possibly also to gay marry Zachary Quinto, but that’s still only at about a 50/50 probability). So, everything is very exciting! Also? TERRIFYING. I have so much to do in the next couple weeks (including, much to my chagrin, this project, the bane of my existence). My head may just burst into flames at any moment. Fun! I’ll be sure to document all my meltdowns on Twitter. Anyway, I made three recipes last night, because I need to get this train a-rollin’ and also because I am a masochist.
I picked three recipes that seemed like they would go well together, based on absolutely nothing: Bruschetta, Artichoke & Pine Nut Pesto, and Sole a la Grenoblaise. And it all turned out pretty mediocre! Sorry, Lisa, it’s the nature of the beast. Continue reading
Filed under Main Courses, Pasta, Sides
Gwyneth Paltrow Invented Teriyaki Sauce
We’re flying right along here, as I completed two more recipes last night: Broiled Salmon with Homemade Teriyaki Sauce, as well as Fragrant Jasmine Rice. And both of these were almost comically simple, let me tell you. I mean, can you really claim as your own recipes the basic ingredients for a teriyaki sauce, as well as just throwing some spices into rice? I mean, really. This is just getting absurd. Continue reading
Filed under Main Courses, Sides
Midnight Soup
As part of my new, diligent effort to actually finish this stupid project, I completed two more recipes last night. Well, it’s really one recipe, served two different ways, so thankfully for Gwyneth and I, it still counts toward the total. Yesterday was a gloomy, drizzly, miserable day in Portland that — coupled with saying goodbye to Ali the night before — left me in a malaise. Some comforting soup would be perfect, I thought, turning the page to Slow-Roasted Tomato Soup: Two Ways, and smiling appreciatively at the “1 hour” total preparation time. Easy, delicious, and something I can serve grilled cheese alongside. Isn’t that the kind of dinner everyone is searching for? And then I noticed the main ingredient was Gwyneth’s slow-roasted tomatoes (previously completed for Chicken Milanese), which take FOUR TO FIVE HOURS TO MAKE. God damnit, lady, you’ve screwed me again. Continue reading
Filed under Soups
Oyster Po’Boys: Served With a Side of GUNFIRE
My dear friend and original Portland roommate Ali was in town this weekend, which is always a sure cause for lots of mayhem. And yes, lots of stuff did happen, and I won’t get into that because this is a family blog, but I’m going to blame her for all the bad decisions made. ANYWAY, Ali is a famewhore, and she knows the key to getting famous is to appear on this blog, so she requested a meal in her honor. I let her page through the sacred cookbook and pick out whatever she wanted me to make, and she, ever the New York Jew, chose the recipe with oysters: Oyster Po’Boys, to be specific. So Saturday night, we brought New Orleans to Portland (the gunfight outside on the street certainly added to the feeling that we were in the Lower 9th Ward; more on that later). Continue reading
Filed under Burgers & Sandwiches
Niçoise Salad: The Garbage Dump of Salads
And we’re back! How was everyone’s week? New York was a blast, of COURSE. The Big Apple! (I made sure to call it the Big Apple all the time out there, so everyone knew I was a local and therefore knew the city’s nickname.) Here is where you can read some unconnected things I saw and experienced out there. EXCITING. Anyway, let’s get back to this project because we have literally eight billion recipes to cook and we’re running out of time! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
Last night was Monday Night Football, so you know what goes well with that: Niçoise Salad! Actually, I just wanted to do something easy to get back into it, as well as knocking out two recipes in one, since Gwyneth so helpfully separates the salad from its Chive Vinaigrette. But things quickly backfired, because this was NOT EASY IN THE SLIGHTEST. And on top of that, it just tasted horrible! I’m not sure I’m ready to relive this yet, but let’s get to it. Continue reading
Filed under Salads
Quickly, Before I Go
Ugh, yes, I must leave you again. In two hours, I’ll be headed off to New York (do people still call it the Big Apple? I’ll be sure to say that a lot out there), and I won’t return until Saturday evening. If it’s any consolation, I’m not as jovial about taking this much time off for the project as I have been in the past, now that I’m becoming sliiiightly panicked about how much I still have to left to cook in the next four months.
So the bad news: I’m gone for this week. The good news: Maybe funny stories from New York! And losing another week is only going to make the coming weeks more chaotic. Oh, god, I really don’t even want to think about what’s waiting for me when I return.
To hold you over, here is something I wrote about the strangest thing I saw this weekend. And, to find out what I think about New York in REAL TIME, follow me on Twitter! There, how’s that for self-promotion?
Okay, bye. I miss you already.
Filed under Non-Gwyneth
A Boring Meal, After Which I Begin to Panic
This one is so simple. Insanely simple. But we had to make it at some time, so why not today? Cacio e Pepe, an old Italian classic. Gwyneth doesn’t put a new spin on it at all, so I’m not sure what it’s really doing in her cookbook, taking up a full page. And now it’s taking up a full blog post. So we’re both cheating! Neat! Continue reading
Filed under Pasta
Gazpacho Party!
When your mom yells at you via a blog comment to cook more, you know you’re doing something wrong. Added to that is the fact that summer has suddenly come to an end, and the realization that I neglected to make gazpacho all season. Plus, I had a party to go to this weekend. So, for all these reasons: Gazpacho was made on Saturday night. Continue reading
A Manly Salad
Today’s recipe is relatively simple and unexciting. (And if that intro doesn’t grab you, I don’t know what will.) You see, last night was a big night in my nerdy life, my equivalent of the way some people feel about the Super Bowl or, heck, even the Westminster Dog Show. It was, of course, the premiere of another season of Survivor. (Yes, I still watch the show most of you gave up on nine years ago. And not only that, but I participate in weekly viewing parties! Just like the elderly!) So instead of slaving away in the kitchen for six hours, I had to get down to business and whip something up quickly, so we could settle in front of the TV like the lethargic slobs we are on Wednesday nights six months out of the year. Continue reading
Filed under Salads
The Danny/Gwyneth Project 